when do we say no?

I have recently read that it is good karma to be generous. I do believe it is so. After all "you attract that which you are" (Dr. Wayne Dyer). But, when it comes to children, when do you say no? If we want to keep the good vibes going in our personal lives we often show or generosity by giving money. But do we do this with our children? Regardless of economic times, indulging our children may not be good. A person needs to be shown how to do for themselves. We teach our children by example more than by giving them everything they ask for. If they see us giving to others they will do the same and most likely not expect you to do the same for them. I am generous with what I have and that is because I enjoy seeing other people happy. I love watching their faces light up when I do something or give something to someone. My kids are the same way. They give to their friends and family for the sheer pleasure of it. Do they ask me for everything under the sun? Yes. Do I indulge them all the time? No. This will not teach them how much I value them. I do celebrate good deeds with something they may need or want. They say "but I need money and its too hard for me to earn any." I encourage patience, saving their allowance, and not over spending. I do celebrate holidays and birthdays as a time to indulge them and make them feel special within my ability to do so. Rather I indulge them with my time, attention, and love. Sometimes I sit here for hours doing nothing but hanging around wondering if they even know I am here. But at the most odd times they want to talk. It comes as sudden as the wind and I am right there when they need me.

Moments are remembered my days. Indulgence in things is not needed. Give time, effort and humor. Your family will love you all the more and you will feel good too. My kids love the power they feel when they see their money grow. They have pride doing it themselves and that is just as import then just giving it to them.

Bless this day.

Suz

Worry

I worry about may things. My future and my children mostly. I try to stop worrying but it often creeps back in to my thinking. When I stop the thoughts, I start new one's so my mind won't wander. Like I think about my cute dog or starting a project. If I am at work, I work harder and focus more I my client. This drowns out my worry. It's really a fear you know, worry. You fear the worst of a situation. Or the things that are unknown. But where does it get you? Nowhere better than where you are right now. Yet we still do it. I know my worrying over my kids will never help them do better in life, but I feel compelled to think about it over and over sometimes. Many times I trick my mind by thinking the problem is resolved and that we are living the best life possible. That works very well for quite some time. I think from the end of the situation back. Act as if it were resolved or never happened. Take for instance my daughters grades in High School. I worry that she won't do well. So I think about her graduating at the top of her class and being very successful right now. It feels good and I stop the worrying. I think if I contemplate the good thoughts, I will create the good. I know when I have contemplated the bad thought, they happened. It was almost freaky.

Today I am worried for my Son. He has a driving violation that we have to go to court for and I fear he will have points on his license and have to pay big bucks to the insurance company. Money we do not have. I believe he is a good driver and we come out of this a winner. So I guess I will only think of that, winning. But the worries still creep in every now and then.

Bless this day
Suzanne

Divorce Help for Women

When I got divorced I got screwed by my lawyer and by my ex. I vowed then that I would never let this happen to another woman again.

Just the other day I was talking to a client in my office when she was getting her Massage,(I never talk during a session but she wanted to chat) and she started to tell me of how her husband and she are separated and how he cut her off of all the money by changing the bank accounts without her knowing. She has to beg him for money leaving her with no way to retain a lawyer. Its been a year since the separation and she is still begging him for money after he cheated and moved out on her.

I asked her what bank they deal with and when I heard I remembered my ex used the same bank. He is the "Primary" name on the account and she is the secondary, Therefore, He has ALL the control over the account and took everything. We think that because its joint that both parties have rights but that is not true. Also the attorney she wants needs $10,000 to retain so she was waiting till she had the money. WRONG!

Ladies if you separate go directly to a lawyer. Talk to them and get advice. You never should put all your trust blindly in your spouse for many reasons. 1) He (or she) may die or have an accident, and you have no way of helping yourself with no access to the money you've both earned. 2)If you separate or divorce, you need to know where everything is. Otherwise you will have to hire a Forensic Accountant to find the assets. They cost a lot of money but are well worth it if you need them. 3) You are a unit. You are one of the unit so you must know ALL the details of your assets. 4) Your name must be on EVERYTHING! If he has it, you have your name on it.

Most things are "transfer on death" (TOD) and you will need access to everything should there be a problem. Ask questions, go on line, and talk to a professional. If you need counseling, Call me at (908) 692-2257 and I can help. You are worth it.