Entitled to a

Hello Friends:

I have had a circumstance happen to make me think about what I am entitled to. When I review what I and other people are truly entitled to I examine and comment from the current value system here in Monmouth County NJ (that is not to say that all New Jerseians are this way either). I would speak of all of America but since I am not fully informed of the opinions all Americans then I will only comment on what I live with here in my local area.

The definition of Human Rights by Amnesty Intl. is:

Human Rights Basics

Human rights are basic rights and freedoms that all people are entitled to regardless of nationality, sex, national or ethnic origin, race, religion, language, or other status.

Human rights include civil and political rights, such as the right to life, liberty and freedom of expression; and social, cultural and economic rights including the right to participate in culture, the right to food, and the right to work and receive an education.  Human rights are protected and upheld by international and national laws and treaties.

Nowhere in this statement do I see the right to the following:  FREE FOOD, FREE ROOM AND BOARD, FREE CELL PHONE, FREE MEDICAL COVERAGE, THE RIGHT TO A GOOD OR HIGH PAYING JOB, OR THE RIGHT TO OTHER PEOPLES MONEY OR PROPERTY BECAUSE "ITS NOT FAIR THEY MAKE MORE THAN ME/US".  I wrote this in capital letters because it needs to be said boldly.  I am not shouting as some would have you believe. However, it could be shouted in an attempt to get other's to listen.  We are all individuals who can create our own future. Yes; we all have ups and downs in life, we all disagree with others at times and we all want a great life. You cannot have good without bad.  No one is responsible for giving you anything. You are responsible for getting the things you want for yourself. 

I have seen and heard people close to me (they have no clue who they are btw) complain about how they  "should" get, have, or otherwise be given what they want instead of earning it for themselves. This is a newer concept. I "SHOULD HAVE" is something that slowly became popular in the last 25 to 30 years or so. I so dislike the word should, I tell people "Don't should on yourself."  I have removed the word should from my life because I too was measuring with that word.  "I should be, or should do, or should buy, or should own or should _________ (fill in the blank).  This is nothing more than your expectation. No a RIGHT. I do or don't. I will or won't. I have or have not. But I should nothing...

I remember when I was growing up our parents hold us to get a job and move out. Some parents let you live at home till you got married, or got a good paying job, or graduated college.  Most made you pay rent if you were not going to school full-time or if you were needing some motivation. And College was for you to pay off by yourself, not your parents job. We had to earn or own way. Never did we just stay home playing games, buying random stuff and being lazy. Not after high school.  If we did that, we got physically thrown out. "Shame on you" they'd say.  I agree it was harsh, but if that happened to you, you got up, went to work and got a life. For most of us we would not be lazy because we wanted to get what our parents had. There wasn't one parent who was going to just give it to us either. They gave you a start. They taught you how to act in public so you could be accepted by others (manners). They told you to read and get educated in some way. They told you to save your money for the future. You were told you can do whatever you want but you have to get it for yourself.   So we went to look for a job, or apply to college, or asked a friend or family member for a job. We worked to be productive, to have possessions, and to be proud of who we are. 

Shame on you if you expect your family or community to give you anything. I'm just saying.

God Bless America

Peace to all

I don't want to hear it

"I don't want to hear it" I cannot tell you how much I have said this over the last 25 years. Wether to my kids, my husband or to total strangers who feel free to come right out and tell you what they think. I must say it at least twice a day. It seems as though it may be coming true. My "hearing" is off. I hear selectively now. My boyfriend is dumbfounded as to how I can hear my dog make a small squeak from the kitchen, but I cannot hear my Daughter who is sitting right next to me. I gotta wonder too. If I tell myself something often enough will it be true?

Perhaps I should tell my self that I am gorgeous. Maybe then I will believe it. Or I should tell myself that I am the richest woman in NJ. Perhaps that will come to be true as well. Because I am constantly telling myself that I am broke, or over weight, they seem to have come to be true. Really what I have to do more is take my own advise and stay positive. Tell my self that I am beautiful. That I can afford whatever I choose. Then finally it will come true. You might want to do the same.

Remember to tell yourself that you are Smart, good looking, capable, strong and can afford what you choose to spend money on. Then that will be your reality. Talking about what you don't want will perpetuate more of the same. So today I say "Let me hear it" Let me hear all the good things that will make me a better person.

I am taking my own advice.
Sincerely,
Suzanne Paquette
the richest woman in NJ

Depervation

As I was driving to the gym today I started to feel unhappy. Deprived of something. I was thinking about money again. I think I am broke all the time! It's chronic. I always feel deprived. Where does this come from? I mean I have everything I want. I guess. Why do I frequently go through this? My life has changed in so many ways since my childhood. I have turned bad situations into good ones, I have taken back control of my life, I have my own home and a decent car... what else could it be? I said to myself, "You have everything you want. You are fine. Why do you always go to this place in your mind that makes you feel like you are missing something?"

When I came home I realized that I wanted new curtains in the house and new carpeting as well. Not having a lot of money, I took some curtains from one room and put them in another. Changed some table clothes, and cleaned a few things up to brighten the rooms. Now I feel happier about not having the money to just go shopping at my first whim. But why do I still go there in my brain? I don't know. I do have some money to go shopping, but I don't want to spend it all at once and I am sure I will. I am working as much as my job allows, but still ..

It just came to me. I don't feel proud of my accomplishments at work. My pride is based on how well I do at work or in my field. When I owned my own business, I felt so good about myself. I have confidence. I have goals. That's it. Its my work. The massage industry is very tough in that we are not cheap, not covered by insurance, and we need long hours to be open for everyone's convenience. I am a single Mom and fear that time away from my 13 year old will take away from her quality of life. I love my kids more than anything. How can I change my situation?